"The World Is On Fire!": Ted Cruz's Speech Terrifies 3-Year-Old Girl 

Aleksander Chan · 03/16/15 07:30AM

During a speech to his conservative supporters in Barrington, New Hampshire this weekend, Senator Ted Cruz bashed the "Obama-Clinton foreign policy of leading from behind," saying the "world is on fire," to the horror of a three-year-old sitting in the front row.

In the Ultimate Fuck-You to Christmas, Santa Claus Beat Up a Nun on Last Night's American Horror Story

Rich Juzwiak · 12/06/12 12:45PM

Last night's American Horror Story went where even 1984's notorious, depraved and once-protested Santa slasher Silent Night, Deadly Night wouldn't: It featured a man in a Santa costume assaulting a nun, punching and whipping her in the ultimate S&M roleplay of secular and religious reasons for the season. The full scene, in which Deadwood's Ian McShane plays a maniac exacting his revenge to Jessica Lange's Sister Jude for keeping him in solitary confinement, is above. Usually American Horror Story, which is so fucking great and trashy this season, merely goes over the top: here it goes over the top and through the chimney.

American Horror Story: Asylum Is Less Batshit Insane Than Its Predecessor

Rich Juzwiak · 10/18/12 12:30PM

Maybe the craziest thing about American Horror Story's second season, which premiered last night on FX, is that it isn't a second season, really. The series is an anthology, meaning that despite the likes of Jessica Lange, Lily Rabe, Zachary Quinto and Evan Peters returning, we're getting a whole new set of characters in a whole new storyline that (supposedly) has nothing to do with what happened in the haunted-house-based first season.

Lena Dunham Gets Three Emmy Nominations; Here Are the Rest

Rich Juzwiak · 07/19/12 09:15AM

It's a very darling sort of year for the Emmys with critical/Internet/real people favs like Girls, Breaking Bad, Homeland, Downton Abbey, Game of Thrones, Parks and Recreation and 30 Rock popping up in multiple categories. Mad Men and American Horror Story lead with 17 nominations. Somewhat weirdly, American Horror Story qualifies for the miniseries categories because, as Vulture explained earlier this year, "the miniseries distinction is reserved for programming that has a story line that gets resolved in a single season." This logic led the first season of Downton Abbey to be considered by the Emmys as a miniseries last year, although that was bullshit then (clearly Mary and Matthew had more heart-dragging to do — no one could have possibly thought that the first season finale constituted resolution). It's a bit more understandable in the case of American Horror Story, which will focus on an entirely different story every season, but it's still a little weird since we know several characters from last time around will return. (Actually, word is that returning actors will not be reprising their Season 1 roles but take up all new ones. Jessica Lange, for example, is supposed to play a nun.) No matter - whatever it takes for a show so batshit crazy to be regarded as distinguished is fine with me.

Couple Sue Landlord Over Haunted House

Louis Peitzman · 04/16/12 11:00PM

Why didn't the family on American Horror Story think of this? A man with the unlikely name Jose Chinchilla and his fiancée Michele Callan are suing their landlord after renting a house they've decided is haunted.

The Hottest Things on TV in 2011

Brian Moylan · 12/28/11 09:00AM

Every single television critic has written their "10 Best of 2011" article and it's all, "Oooh, Breaking Bad." "Let's hear it for Community." "Friday Night Lights should never leave!" "Do you love Louie? I love Louie. You should love LOUIE!" Fuck them! All their damn lists are the same year after year. Here are some of the other things that happened on television when the critics were playing Ookie Cookie with each other.

Here Are This Year's Golden Globes Nominees

Brian Moylan · 12/15/11 11:00AM

It's officially awards season now that the secretive geniuses at the Hollywood Foreign Press Association have announced the nominees for the Golden Globes, Hollywood's self-love and booze fest. The Artist appears to be the big winner, but that's not surprising at all. However there are some shocks to be had.

Friday Night Lights Is Not Dead

Richard Lawson · 10/06/11 04:52PM

Yes, our beloved football friends may yet live. Also today: good news for an American Horror Story, bad news for an American idol, and James Bond has a new title.

American Horror Story: Things Are Really Bumping in the Night

Richard Lawson & Brian Moylan · 10/06/11 11:18AM

Straight up horror, that delightful combination of gross-out thrills and sexual chills, is usually something best enjoyed in short bursts, which is why it works wonderfully at the movies. But on TV? FX is giving it at shot with American Horror Story and, boy, is it something!

Kirstie Alley Is Back in Business

Richard Lawson · 08/03/11 05:16PM

Phat actress Kirstie Alley has a new TV show in the works, so she is a working actress again! Also today: Saturday Night Live lands some funny hosts, Lauren Ambrose takes a big musical role, and Ashton Kutcher is sad and rich.

Joaquin Phoenix Rises From the Ashes Like... a Phoenix

Richard Lawson · 04/13/11 04:20PM

Though he once said he'd "quit acting," that was all a hoax, and Joaquin Phoenix really hasn't quit acting at all. Also today: the return of the return of musicals, Jessica Lange makes a TV project even more exciting, and Bradley Cooper is seriously miscast.