Allen West Thinks School-Sponsored Prayer Will Stop Football Injuries

Ashley Feinberg · 04/21/15 01:40PM

Disgraced Floridian and former congressman Allen West took some time recently to address a Texas conservative group about the dangers of separating church and state—dangers like grievous football injuries, specifically. But thankfully, that ain’t nothing a little prayer can’t fix.

Adam Weinstein · 05/13/14 12:07PM

Why are we all talking about kidnapped Nigerian schoolgirls? Obviously because usurper Obama needs to distract us from Benghazi and the VA, according to former Iraqi-detainee torturer Allen West.

Adam Weinstein · 04/04/14 02:33PM

If you're a washed-up one-term Tea Party congressman and you're writing a soon-to-be-bestselling jeremiad on dirty libruls, here's a pro tip: Don't use a bunch of fake "founding fathers" quotes from the footers of your Ayn Rand reading group's email threads.

Fox News Is Just Askin': Is Eric Holder a Bigger Threat Than Al Qaeda?

Cord Jefferson · 06/07/13 03:11PM

Disgraced Florida man Allen West, who was forced out of the Army before being voted out of Congress after just one term, is now a Fox News talking head, naturally. One of his first orders of business? Getting to the bottom of this question: Is America's sitting attorney general more dangerous to us than a terrorist leader focused on murdering as many Americans as possible?

Hoodies, Strip Searches, and College: A Salad Bar of American Dread

Mobutu Sese Seko · 04/03/12 03:35PM

Even when one or two stories dominate a national news cycle, there are still thousands more circulating beneath them. Most of these are local, which is great luck for local journalists, who can use them to fend off angry senior-citizen complaints that nobody's explained why Dahlia's Café—the one with the all-afternoon early bird!—was replaced with a "Chipottle."

Now Let's Return to Real Political Issues, Like the 'Ground Zero Mosque'

Jim Newell · 08/02/11 12:00PM

Since Congress is preparing to head into its August recess just as soon as this debt ceiling deal wraps up, how are we, the political news consumers, going to get our kicks for the next month? Hmm. Eh, what the hell, let's start talking about the "Ground Zero" "Mosque" again.

House Republicans Now Just Watching Ben Affleck Movies

Jim Newell · 07/27/11 11:31AM

Counselors at the youth summer camp that we know more commonly as the "House Republican Caucus of the 112th Congress" penciled in time for a movie yesterday! All of the campers were so excited to relax a little bit after pretending to be members of Congress for so long. And better yet, they got to watch an R-rated movie — without their parents' permission! Is that even legal?

Rep. Allen West Calls DNC Chair 'Vile... Despicable... Not a Lady'

Max Read · 07/19/11 07:46PM

Today, Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D - Fla.), the chair of the Democratic National Committee, made a speech against the "Cut, Cap and Balance" bill that just passed the House. It was pretty mild! Less mild was the response of Rep. Allen West (R - Fla.), who sent Wasserman-Schultz an email. A very intense email, exhorting her to "shut the heck up."

Tea Party Congressman Drowns American Flag

John Cook · 06/14/11 02:16PM

It's Flag Day, the day when we pray to the American Flag for another year safe from Sharia, which makes it doubly sickening that today photos have emerged showing Tea Party bomb-thrower Rep. Allen West flying a flag underwater while scuba-diving in Florida over the weekend.