'Neil Armstrong - LYING PIECE OF MASON SH*T: Good RIDDANCE': Moon Truthers Mourn a Legend

Max Read · 08/27/12 02:25PM

Neil Armstrong, the first human being to ever set foot on the moon, died over the weekend, triggering an avalanche of eulogies, remembrances, and memorials. Both from the vast majority of human beings who are in awe of Armstrong's feat — and from the few hundred weirdos on the internet who believe the moon landing was faked by Illuminati Reptilians.

Enormous Robot Begins Journey to Mars in Search of Life

Max Read · 11/26/11 11:29AM

Right now, several miles above the surface of the earth, a huge wheeled robot is on its way to Mars, where, armed with "rock-zapping laser," it will seek out evidence of ancient extraterrestrial life.

Barack Obama Has Never Met An Alien

Adrian Chen · 11/07/11 04:50PM

Hey, everyone, President Barack Obama has officially not been secretly meeting with aliens. Thank God for the internet, which forced Obama to address this crucial issue.

Brooklyn UFO Sighting Caught on Tape: 'Shiiiiit'

Maureen O'Connor · 10/07/11 01:12PM

Updated. Bushwick resident and YouTube user TheFallGuy53 was minding his own business, sitting on his front stoop, when suddenly, an apparition of light. A UFO, lurking in the north Brooklyn sky!

Mysterious Orange Goo Identified As Your Mom

Hamilton Nolan · 08/10/11 04:19PM

Goo analysis! Fetal sex! Science mistakes! Alien search! Lamprey death! NASA crafts! Undersea volcanoes! Solar flare! And the brutal ennui of the Mars Rover! It's your Wednesday Science Watch, where we watch science—down to its gooey center!

The Darkest Hour: Invisible Aliens

Richard Lawson · 08/04/11 10:33AM

Here's a trailer for The Darkest Hour, a Russia-set thriller about an alien invasion. Ho hum, more aliens, right? Wrong! These are a different kind of alien, in that we can't see them.

Aliens Steal Australian X-Files

Max Read · 06/07/11 11:00PM

After searching for two months, Australia's Department of Defense claims to have "lost" all but one of its files concerning UFO sightings, which were requested by a newspaper through the country's Freedom of Information laws. This leads us to two, equally plausible theories:

This New Yorker Wants All Your UFO Sightings

Adrian Chen · 04/10/11 04:38PM

68-year-old retired computer consultant Joe Capp has set up a 24 hour UFO hotline and has received almost two dozen sightings so far. Unfortunately the New York Post article does not include the phone number! Must be 1-800-I-SAW-UFO.

Did Capitalism Destroy Life on Mars?

Max Read · 03/23/11 01:28AM

Why isn't there life on Mars? Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez has a theory! "I have always said, heard... it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived... and finished off the planet." Hmm.

El Chupacabra Is Actually Natasha Henstridge in Species

Max Read · 03/22/11 11:55PM

Everyone knows that the Chupacabra, or goatsucker, is a terrifying bipedal livestock vampire who lives in Puerto Rico. But what if... the Chupacabra wasn't real? And what if... it were actually Natasha Henstridge from the 1995 sci-fi horror movie Species?

Is NASA Selling Cocaine to Aliens?

Max Read · 03/16/11 02:13AM

A small packet of cocaine has been found at NASA's Kennedy Space Center, almost exactly 14 months after cocaine was last found at the Kennedy Space Center, as keen observers of space and/or cocaine will no doubt note. But does this indicate that NASA is the most fun government agency—or that it's a front organization for a vast, interplanetary drug ring? Seems to us it's time to put the space-detectives on the case! (This can be the basis for the sixth season of The Wire.) When asked if the recent discovery had any link to the death of a NASA contractor on Monday, spokeswoman Renee Juhans said, "maybe." No, ha, she actually said "no comment." And then she had the reporter whacked. [AFP]