Who Drives the Alcohol Industry? Alcoholics

Hamilton Nolan · 09/26/14 08:35AM

Based upon beer and liquor company advertising, you might imagine that the US booze industry primarily sells its products to suave, attractive 20-somethings on the beach. In fact, it primarily sells its products to alcoholics.

Foreign Idiots Can't Get Enough of Our Wine

Hamilton Nolan · 02/26/14 10:58AM

No disrespect to people in foreign countries, but they are approximately the world's biggest suckers, when it comes to believing things about America. No, all Americans are not cowboys; we don't all own guns, and work at Disney Land; and we certainly don't make any good wine.

Which Countries Take the Most Shots Per Week?

Kyle Chayka · 02/03/14 11:30PM

Russians might be stereotyped as alcoholics, but according to a recent study by Euromonitor, it's actually South Koreans who drink the most. In a metric worthy of Jersey Shore, the study found that Koreans consume around 14 shots of liquor a week while Russians pound just 6. Laaaame.

Except For Dinner Last Night, I Haven't Had a Drink This Year

Ken Layne · 01/02/14 06:00PM

Alcohol plays a large role in everyone's life. We use it to clean our many wounds, and we add certain percentages of the stuff to our gasoline, within certain states where that's required by regulations. Some of us even drink alcohol, for pleasure or otherwise. But you can count me out of that last group. For all of this year, so far, I have been "on the wagon."

Sarah Hedgecock · 12/29/13 09:40PM

Just in time for cold season, a new study reveals that moderate drinking can boost the immune system. We trust you'll use this information wisely come New Year's Eve.

Drinking Lots and Lots of Wine May Prevent Earth's Spermpocalypse

Ken Layne · 12/11/13 12:47PM

Important new research proves that drinking lots and lots of wine every week makes men have "stronger sperm." This means the sperm is more likely to reach its "goal," which is some part of a lady, if the sperm was ejaculated in the general direction of a lady.

Sarah Hedgecock · 11/19/13 01:56PM

Crack-smoking Toronto mayor Rob Ford told CBC last night that he's giving up alcohol. Wait, really? Well, he says it's been three weeks since his last drink. Of being stripped of most of his mayoral powers, he said he "had a come-to-Jesus moment" and won't consume alcohol again.

This Booze Substitute and Its "Antidote" Get You Drunk Pain-Free

Sarah Hedgecock · 11/11/13 04:21PM

For ages, dreamers, alchemists, mixologists and other enthusiasts have fantasized about a better world—a world where drunkenness wasn't accompanied by hangover, nausea or liver damage. Now, one scientist says he can make that dream a reality. Behold: the age of the "alcohol substitute" is at hand.