Study: Your Mom Makes You Ugly

Hamilton Nolan · 08/21/13 03:14PM

Scientists have always believed that, as you get older, you look all worn down and old, and hell, that's just the way it is, tough shit. But a groundbreaking new study says that, like everything else screwed up about you, this is something that you can blame on your mom.

Maggie Lange · 07/31/13 04:21PM

Harry Potter turns 33 today. That's way older than we all thought he was, right?

Emmanuelle Riva Gives Perfect Interviews

Mallory Ortberg · 02/10/13 12:45PM

The best interviews either confirm something that viewers have always hoped to be true or surprises them utterly; Emmanuelle Riva does both. Of course she is too tired to attend the BAFTAs; of course she is happiest when she is working. She is everything we want an 85-year-old Frenchwoman in the middle of an unexpected career resurgence and more.

Jude Law Finally Ugly Enough to Act, T Magazine Announces

Mallory Ortberg · 12/01/12 01:27PM

Crumbling Time-Prince Jude Law wants the world to know he's perfectly happy to at long last to look like a disgusting skin monster just like everyone else. With his recent conversation with T Magazine ("Who Are You Calling Pretty Boy"), Law has finally completed the ancient ritual of the Aging Male Beauty interview, declaring his utter relief to have finally slid into human levels of attractiveness.

Botoxed Fairy Tale: Charlize Theron's Aging Queen in Snow White & the Huntsman

Rich Juzwiak · 06/01/12 02:20PM

Snow White & the Huntsman has several cool tricks up its ornately designed sleeve, but the coolest one of all is its focus on its wicked queen's existential crisis. That is, after all, what's always driven the action of this oft- and increasingly told tale – the aging queen's savage jealousy of younger beauty is what forces Snow White away from her rightful castle, into the cabin of seven dwarves. It's what almost kills our protagnoist and it's what unites her with her true love, a prince.

You Don't Have to Get Old But You Do Have to Die

Hamilton Nolan · 11/04/11 03:28PM

Drug approval! Earthquake danger! Child risks! Ending aging! Cancer marathon! Texas therapy! Pneumonia vaccination! Robot walking! And a whole new way of looking at regulation! It's your Friday Health Watch, where we watch your health—with a heavy heart!

Has Super Broccoli Fallen Into the Wrong Hands?

Hamilton Nolan · 10/26/11 04:38PM

HPV boys! Chest X-rays! Aging secrets! Bat disease! Old pacemakers! Filthy surface! Coffee protection! Super broccoli! And gurl U no U better keep taking that birth control! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—in technicolor!

Antidepression Is the New Depression

Hamilton Nolan · 08/04/11 03:54PM

Alexander technique! HIV trends! Antidepressant popularity! Imaginary wrinkles! Expensive food! Sick ticks! Scorpion medicine! Elderly genes! And some very special research by scientist perv pornographers! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—maniacally!

Fun With Census Statistics!

Seth Abramovitch · 05/26/11 02:52AM

The 2010 U.S. census figures have been released. The big picture, basically, is that men are living longer, marriage is downtrending, and the baby boom population is entering their twilight years.

Women Feel Old at 29

Remy Stern · 03/26/11 03:11PM

For those hoping life will begin at 40: if you're a girl, you should really try to live it up now. A new study has found that women "consider themselves old by the time they reach 29," while men don't start to feel the pinch until they're 58.

Did Obama Dye His Hair?

Adrian Chen · 01/21/11 12:17AM

Obama looked damn good at last night's State Dinner for Chinese president Hu Jintao. Maybe a little too good. His salt-and-pepper locks seemed noticeably darker. Did Barack Obama get a quickie dye job?

Everything Celebrities Say About Fitness Is a Lie

Hamilton Nolan · 12/30/10 12:47PM

Celeb fit myths exposed! Energy Kitchens everywhere! The 94 year-old daddy diet! Republicans embrace exercise! Feeble gymgoing works! Workaday workouts! Man loses weight! And your New Year's resolution, exposed! It's your Thursday Fitness Watch, where we watch fitness—2010 style!

Watch a Girl Age 10 Years in 90 Seconds

Matt Cherette · 12/02/10 04:09PM

Meet 12-year-old Natalie. If you don't want to meet Natalie at 12, how about at 10? Or four? Or 18 months? Or birth? Because you can, by watching this time-lapse featuring one photo of her a day for 10 years.

Barack Obama's Year of Going Gray

Brian Moylan · 08/04/10 11:25AM

Today is Barack Obama's 49th birthday! Yesterday he told reporters that he's gotten a lot more gray hair in the past year. For his birthday, we decided to put together a photo comparison for him. Sweet of us, no?