Celebrate Art, Win a Grand Theft Auto Video Game

Richard Lawson · 03/05/08 10:01AM

One of our delightful sponsors, Rockstar Games, has painted murals around New York City to celebrate (promote) the release of Grand Theft Auto 4, a quiet, peaceful video game about making friends. Want a free copy? All you have to do is a take a photo of yourself in front of one of these murals, then post it here in a comment. The first 20 to do so win a free copy of the game and our undying respect. The locations are:

Conservative Blog Spearheading Boycott of 'New Republic' Advertisers

Maggie · 10/29/07 05:01PM

AdAge features and blogs editor Ken Wheaton, is easy on the eyes and perhaps a tad overexcited about the possibility of the New Republic hitting the skids. It seems that in the wake of the "Baghdad Diarist" scandal, Wheaton reported today, "Military bloggers and bloggers from the right are calling for a boycott of marketers who advertise in The New Republic. Of course, the news here is that The New Republic still had advertisers!" Aww, mean. So far, these "military bloggers and bloggers from the right" are actually Pajamas Media blogger, Bob Owens, who's campaigning over at Confederate Yankee against TNR advertisers and industry titans like Microsoft, Freddie Mac, GM, HBO and Warner Brothers. We tease, but Owens has the attention of Weekly Standard writer Michael Goldfarb, who was among the first to be suspicious of the 'Diarist' column, is sending traffic Owens' way. Stay tuned.

Touching Our Advertisers In All The Right Places

mark · 10/27/06 03:13PM

Please join us for the regularly scheduled break in which we pamper this week's sponsors with slowly fanned palm fronds and hand-fed grapes, hoping that our constant, loving attention leads to higher advertising expenditures in the future. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and one day have your toughest muscular knots kneaded out by our strong hands (note: happy endings are reserved for those willing to fund a site takeover), see this page:

We've Chosen Armani To Design The Dress In Which We'll Finally Wed Our Advertisers

mark · 10/20/06 02:40PM

Drop everything you're doing—we mean it this time—and commit to memory this list of the fine products, movies, media companies, musical organizations, and craft booze producers whose online advertising dollars have kept us employed this past week; without them, we'd be right back to fetching some producer's dogs from the Chateau Marmutt. (Please don't make us go back.) If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and incite a spending spree by this city's most acquisitive consumers, see this page.

Rubbing Scented Lotion Onto the Tired, Sore Feet Of Our Advertisers

mark · 10/13/06 04:09PM

Please join us in our weekly moment of praise for the brave men, women, products, and services who have made the supreme sacrifice of their online advertising dollars so that we can continue to bring you important updates about the new and exciting ways that Mel Gibson finds to apologize to the people who are "not blameless" in their participation in selected armed conflicts. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and temporarily keep us off the bread line, see this page.

We Never Fake It With Our Advertisers

mark · 10/06/06 03:22PM

Please join us in celebrating the unbreakable bond we share with this week's sponsors, a relationship based only on mutual respect and all-consuming passion, not on the cynical advancement of our careers or the promotion of an upcoming movie. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and feel the heat of our love, see this page.

Advertisers love us again

Nick Douglas · 09/22/06 06:44PM

It's been so long since Valleywag had a Special Friend to thank for sponsoring the site. Much appreciation to this week's advertisers:

Dancing With The Advertising Stars

mark · 09/22/06 03:25PM

Watch as we take the hands of this week's sponsors and attempt to lead them in a sensual tango, which an obnoxious, implacable British judge will deem "about as hot as a slow-dance with my incontinent grandmother." If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and have us stomp all over your delicate feet, see this page.

High Focus-Group Scores For Our Sponsors

seth · 09/01/06 04:53PM

Stand with us for a moment behind the two-way mirror, and gush like a proud parent as the focus group on the other side of the glass extols the many-splendored virtues of our sponsors—companies whose goods and services in their opinion will never get sufficient screen time. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer yourselves, everything you need to know is right here.

Licking The Faces Of Our Advertisers

mark · 08/18/06 04:11PM

We would never urinate in front of our advertisers while offering them narcotics, for that would be off-putting and illegal. However, should we ever have the chance, we would happily lick their perfect faces after bragging about our imminent sexual conquest of Farrah Fawcett, for then they would truly feel desired. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and join our after-party grope session, see this page.

No Need To Hide Our Advertiser Love

mark · 08/04/06 03:09PM

Join us as we celebrate our love for this week's sponsors, a big, gay geyser of proud feelings that need not be concealed by a bucket hat on a 4 a.m. booty call. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and earn yourself a somewhat nonsenical expression of devotion in this space, see this page.

Advertisers Touch Us In the Morning And Then Just Walk Away

mark · 07/28/06 03:50PM

Time again to pause and listen to the celestial trumpet blasts accompanying our weekly expression of love for this week's sponsors, who are trailed everywhere by a retinue of adorable cherubs. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and receive the Lord's blessing for your movie, automobile, or flavored premium vodka, see this page.

Making Love To Our Advertising Clone On the Beach

mark · 07/21/06 03:06PM

Let us pause to recognize the important contributions of those who transmitted funds to the monolithic, worldwide blogging concern that owns this site in return for the advertisement of their goods and services. Indeed, we think we're experiencing romantic love for this week's sponsors, whose names are reprinted below. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and have us absentmindedly doodle your name on the back of our Trapper Keeper, see this page.