If ever there were a time that I wanted to see the receipts, it is now. I say that a lot, but this time I mean it. A 52-year-old Mexican man, Roberto Esquivel Cabrera, went viral recently for claiming he has a 19-inch penis. While that might make him the owner of the world’s biggest dick (who can ever be sure, though?), he is supposedly miserable. The Huffington Post reported on Saturday:
Cabrera of Saltillo told Mexican newspaper Vanguardia that he would like to be considered disabled because the member leaves him unable to work, forcing him to live on assistance and scavenge for food.
His social life is dismal as well, he says. Women are too scared to be with him, according to the newspaper.
I don’t know, man, this seems pretty fucking fake—Long Dong Silver fake. It’s covered in I don’t even know what kind of fabric, and the video plays like a fantasy of the things Cabrera would do if he had a 19-inch penis. They include:
- Weighing it
- Licking the tip
- Hitting his head with it
- Lying down and having it be there
As an owner of a 19-inch penis myself I can confirm that this video captures the authentic experience of showing it off to strangers.
We may find out if Cabrera’s for real for sure soon, as TMZ reports that only a language barrier may be separating the man from a porn career:
We’re told Vivid Entertainment approached the 52-year-old Mexican citizen in an attempt to negotiate a deal for a sex tape, but it’s complicated by language barrier, expectations of money and basic anatomy challenges.
I’ve never been more excited for anything in my life.