Fred Mwangaguhunga, the proprietor of gossip website and chamber of all-caps hyperbole MediaTakeOut, has been making the media rounds lately. To honor the occasion, we decided to assemble an exhaustive hierarchy (from least to most exclusive, roughly) of his creation’s daily EXCLUSIVE!!! reports, which often turn out to be completely wrong. Enjoy.
SUPER WORLD EXCLUSIVE
SUPER WORLD EXCLUSIVE!!!
SUPER WORLDWIDE EXCLUSIVE
WORLD SUPER EXCLUSIVE
WORLD SUPER MEGA EXCLUSIVE
WORDLWIDE [sic] MEGA-EXCLUSIVE
SUPER EXTRA WORLD EXCLUSIVE
SUPER DUPER WORLD EXCLUSIVE
SUPER SHOCK WORLD EXCLUSIVE
SUPER DUPER MEGA WORLD EXCLUSIVE
SUPER-WORLD EXCLUSIVE SHOCK REPORT!!!
[Image via MediaTakeout’s now-corrected report that North West would be named “Kaidence Donda”]
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I have a super terrific enormous wordl (sic) exclusive report that the Brothers Mwangaguhunga, Ron and Fred, are actually in fact the VERY SAME PERSON!!! who has figured out who to teleport himself in order to get girls. According to my super secret sources, one gets handjobs from Brooklyn hipster writerly babes while the other gets BJs from production assistants in Manhattan. Only Rihanna knows the truth. And that too because she is secretly Kanye West.
The owner of that site has created an atmosphere that promotes some of the most disgusting behavior on the internet. Add to that they also comment on their posts with controversial statements just to create a flame war under a number of guises. The guy who owns it seems like a nice intelligent man but man if his claim to fame isn't a sad sad format for discussion.
The tags on MTO posts are always great, too. My fav so far is "male friends."