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Inside today’s Wall Street Journal and New York Times are two different, full-page ads about essentially nothing draped in the rhetoric of social justice written by what I imagine was a third party branding agency at the behest of a CEO in order to promote the pseudo-advocacy of a sprawling American coffee chain. We live in dumb, predictable times.

Take a look at this poem of nothingness and tell me if you can discern a single actual scruple or stance being taken:

What is an “Upstander”?

Does the ad in the Journal make any more sense?


“This is not about the choices we make every four years.
This is about the choices we make every single day.”

Starbucks: Please choose every day to stop cheapening the national discourse.