Somewhere in Daytona Beach, a Medieval reenactor's homicidal nunchuck-and-mace-filled boat trip has been ruined.

Via WTSP-TV in Central Florida, local police have recovered a gift box that never stops giving:

If you're missing a coffin full of weapons and a boat anchor, you should contact the Volusia County Sheriff's Office.

Officers with Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission found the coffin lying upside down on the wood line at the park Thursday at Lake Dias Park near Deland and called the Volusia County Sheriff's Office.

Inside deputies found a 46 weapons including a crossbow and a ball with metal spikes.

Ha yeah, you can see the spiked ball and the crossbow in the photo, and that's pretty weird. But I mean, it's just a silly coffin-shaped box. How crazy can it get?

According to MyNews13, the weapons found in the coffin included:

Black crossbow

Black ball and chain

Set of nun chucks

Metal pair of forceps

Ball with metal spikes

Black hoodie

Small red square punching bag

Black leather pouch

Double-sided axe with handle

Baseball bat with numerous screws attached

Small black sheath

Scissors, silver in color

Wooden handle with attached metal hook

Wooden handle with attached metal knife

Plastic tube with black handles

Wide black metal hook

Black folding knife

2 black arm weights

Broken yellow dart

Silver baseball bat

Small wooden handle with attached knife

Black metal crowbar

Silver antenna

Black metal hooks

Black sword sheathe

Silver metal chain

Black handle with attached long knife

Wooden handle with attached rusted knife blade

Black stick with attached chain

Single metal hook

2 wooden metal hatchets

Silver boat anchor

Black fire poker

Black metal crowbar

Pair of blacksmith pliers

Silver metal sword blade with missing hand grip

Wooden blocking stick

Metal hammer

Double sickle handle

Single handle sickle

Large pair of black metal tongs

2 wooden axe handles

Wooden sword

Hmm. Okay, this can mean a couple of things:

  1. The Renaissance fair was canceled at the last minute.
  2. Tyrion Lannister's reinforcements aren't coming.
  3. Sometimes, the Montauk Monster wins.
  4. Another Floridian turned 21, bought his handgun, and just cannot be bothered with Craigslist.

Alternate explanations are welcome in the comments. Extra Cliven Bundy and Stargate aliens, please!

[Image via Volusia County Sheriff's Office]