Women: a liability to the smooth functioning of the patriarchal labor system? I didn’t say it—science did.

A new study of thousands of workers all over the world found that women—and hey, we love em, but we have to report the facts here—simply are not equipped for the stress of modern capitalism. From the LA Times: “After analyzing data on nearly 140,000 workers from three continents, researchers found that those with “high-strain” jobs were 22% more likely than their peers to suffer a stroke. The risk was particularly acute for women, who were 33% more likely to have a stroke if their jobs fell into this most stressful category.”

Women are always asking for “equality” in the workplace, but now we hear that they may well have a stroke if we allow them to work in important “high strain” fields. Sorry, ladies, you can’t have it both ways. If you’re going to keep having strokes, then we simply can’t let you work in high-strain jobs such as.. *peers at the actual job categories in the study*... “waitresses, nursing aides and other service-industry occupations.”

Uh.. yeah... women’s delicate constitutions means we’re gonna have to relegate them to meager “low-strain” jobs such as.. *peers at study again*... “scientists and architects.”

Forget the liberal political correctness, ladies. Accept the fact that god made men and women different. You tried waitressing—you couldn’t hack it. From now on, stick to science and architecture!

Love, men.

[Photo: Flickr]