Moon formation! Alien life! Fish death! Muscle appreciation! Dark studies! Robo-gloves! Arctic tundra! And the downfall of Western civilization! It's your Wednesday Science Watch, where we watch science—like a toad watch a bug.
- How did The Moon "form?" Violently, like you. Your parents had a violent relationship.
- A scientist claiming to be with "NASA" says openly in public, "I think we're going to have strong indications of life beyond Earth within a decade." I think I'm politely asking you to fuck off, sir!
- Here we go again: now sardines are suffering from overfishing. Wake me when something goes right for sardines. Another day in hell with the sardine brigade.
- You may be interested to learn that professional scientists are spending their time looking at a muscle in your body called the diaphragm. This muscle is "underappreciated" or so they would have you believe. When will scientists learn that we—*gestures to you and me*—don't care about the diaphragm? This is one trite narrative that is not just sick, but sickening.
- The research physicists who control the Large Hadron Collider are trying to look beyond the visible universe—and into the Dark Universe. I don't support that.
- There's a new robotic glove that could be a big help to stroke survivors who want to gain reuse of their hand's motor skills. For the majority of you who aren't stroke survivors—I've just wasted your time. "Thank me later" (sarcastic). You can add in the subset of stroke survivors who are unable to or uninterested in regaining hand motor skills to the pool of people for whom this story is of no value whatsoever. Makes you wish that editors who assign stories could do simple arithmetic, does it not?
- It seems that the type of scientist that greatly enjoys publicity is now announcing to all who will listen that the frozen Arctic north could soon become a major source of carbon. As if the public is walking around looking for another source of carbon. Look in any diamond, it's there. Idiotic.
- Batteries that bend. Guns in school. Babies having babies. Men marrying men. Read the signs, read the stars. The ancient runes.........