Now there is a product for sale called “Protein Cheerios” and—surprise—it is not a good source of protein, for you, the consumer.

Let’s face it: you, the consumer, are one gullible motherfucker. “Where can I get some of this protein I’ve been hearing so much about, on ‘Doctor Oz Daytime Show?’” you ask yourself, in all likelihood. Then you gullibly walk down the cereal aisle ready to purchase any old product containing the word “PROTEIN” emblazoned on it—even if that product is cereal.

Protein is not generally found in high quantities in cereal. IDIOTS!

Now a consumer group that exists to protect you, the consumer, from your own lack of common sense, is suing the Cheerios Corporation over its marketing of “Protein Cheerios.” The only way “Protein Cheerios” would be a legitimate product would be if they were a box of Cheerios containing dozens of boiled eggs mixed in with the Cheerios. That’s not what they are though—they’re just cereal. Furthermore, as the Washington Post reports, “Protein Cheerios” barely have any more protein than regular Cheerios—which don’t have much protein... because they’re cereal! Duh!

Do the math: “a single serving of Protein Cheerios has seven grams of protein and seventeen grams of sugar. A serving of the original Cheerios, meanwhile, has three grams of protein and only a single gram of sugar...For regular Cheerios, the nutrition facts correspond to 28 grams of cereal. For Protein Cheerios, however, the listed protein and sugar contents correspond to 55 grams.”

So “Protein Cheerios” actually has a single gram of protein more than regular Cheerios per equal serving. And—again—Cheerios are not a good source of protein (they are cereal).

Honestly how are you, the consumer, ever going to get swoll at this rate.

[Photo: Flickr]