Kelly
Conaboy
Kelly Conaboy is a Senior Features writer.

Do You Have Any Idea How Large Stoplights Are?

I really don’t think you do.

Jack Facts

Investigation Opened Into Bizarre Death of Murder Family Housekeeper

The latest update in the story of South Carolina lawyer Alex Murdaugh, who recently hired a former client to kill him months after his wife and son were found dead.

Crime

Murder Family Patriarch Asked a Former Client to Kill Him

Alex Murdaugh, who survived being shot in the head, was attempting to secure an insurance payout for his son.

crime

What Look Was the Most Patriotic at the America First Met Gala?

O say can you see? Well, let’s see.

Met Gala

No More With These People

We’re all set. :)

okay thanks

Miranda Kerr Has Always Wanted a Bathtub in Her Bedroom

And so here it is.

manifesting

Well, I Guess I Was Right About Elizabeth Holmes

The Theranos trial has been paused because of a possible juror exposure to COVID-19.

checkmate

Don't Tell My Friend When I Use Their e-Gift Card

A small ask for Big Tech.

unsubscribe

No More “Deranged”

And while we're at it let's also ban "unhinged."

stop immediately

Matt Damon Shuns Twitter, Prefers to Issue Knee-Jerk Responses Through Other Media

He also has a secret Instagram account.

matt damon

What Is Going on With This South Carolina Murder Family?

Alex Murdaugh, whose wife and son were murdered in their home, was recently shot in the head.

crime

It Must Suck to Be Named Tromp

I say this as someone whose name is very similar to Kellyanne Conway’s.

tromp

McDonald’s McFlurry Machines are McUnder McInvestigation by the McFTC

The fed seeks to find out why they can’t reliably obtain a frozen treat.

mcfury

What Could Erika Jayne's Cryptic Message Possibly Mean?

The Real Housewife shared a mysterious dispatch on social media.

hmm

In Heavenly Whoops, Pope Francis Accidentally Quotes Putin

In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Whoopitus Sancti. Amen.

whoopsie hehe

You Know What's Easier Than Slapping a Peach Emoji Over Your Child's Face?

Not posting pictures of them at all.

Unsolicited Advice

Okay Weirdo, You Can Go to Mars for (Less Than) Four Years

Obsessed, much?

space

Let the Mets Boo Us Back

Relationship advice for Mets fans.

let's boo mets

How Do People Get to Those Boats?

(Those boats out there on the water.)

Boat-Related Questions

So Spake 'th’ Guardian': Thy Youth Has't Updat'd Their Stylings

Oh, nay! Nay, youth!

fashion report