Sanna Marin, the Prime Minister of Finland, Is My Queen and Mayor
I would go clubbing with her
Every day, the girls and I jump on the loaner MacBook Air we all share and blog popcorn-style about wretched women who are more successful than us because they put their careers before friends and family: there’s Erika Jayne, who hawks horse hair; Adele, who doesn’t know who Erika Jayne is and is so wrong about that; and Chrissy Teigen, whose transplanted eyebrows will never stop growing even after she has gone to dirt nap in canceled heaven (they have Target there, but your line of cookware is constantly being pulled). And do not get us started on Hillary Clinton!
Success comes at a price, and it’s enough to make the chicas and I want to trade our laptop for BabyBjörns and hold our nieces and nephews (mostly canine) close. Can women have it all? Kim Cattrall certainly couldn’t.
But today, I learned of a beautiful, puissant, Social Democrat, thirty-six-year-old world leader with her head screwed on tight as her purse strings are loose. The Prime Minister of Finland, Sanna Marin, partied in Helsinki on Saturday night. The club was pulsing, and all the Finn boys and dignitaries were screaming, “Joo! Joo! Joo!” That’s Finnish for “Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!,” or at least I hope it is. The trouble is, according to the BBC, Marin’s foreign minister, with whom she had presumably come into some in-person contact, had tested positive for COVID earlier in the week. Marin didn’t believe she had to quarantine because she’s fully vaccinated, and according to official Finnish guidelines, the fully vaxxed do not need to quarantine upon COVID exposure, though they are encouraged to isolate and get tested.
A text came to Marin’s work phone informing her that she should isolate, but she’d left it in her office, because it was Saturday night in Lapland, baby, and what was she gonna do? Check Slack like some of you losers do because of muscle memory? She didn’t see the text until Sunday, which is still the weekend.
A Finnish website called Seiska published photos of Marin out at a hotspot called The Butcher’s Club until 4:00 am. The night seems like a total blast, and damn, this stunning woman cuts quite the side profile!
Of course, they made her apologize for not fully understanding her own government’s quarantine guidelines. Typical. I see nothing to be sorry about: this is a woman who values relaxing with the honeys above her career and country, which sounds about right to me.
Joo! Joo! Joo!