President Joe Biden was on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night to remind the American people that he is, in fact, alive. Held together by a face lift and a prayer, the president faced some pretty tough questions from the guy who used to host The Man Show (and who put on an American flag lapel pin for the occasion).
Kimmel opened with gun violence, asking the president, “Why haven’t we done anything about this?”
Biden put the blame on “intimidation by the NRA” and the fact that the GOP is “not your father’s Republican party, this is a MAGA party.” Then he confusingly went on to praise Senator Mitch McConnell for being a guy who “when he says something, he means it.”
“Like when he said we can’t confirm a Supreme Court Justice with a year left and then said the opposite,” Kimmel asked. Biden did not have a good answer to this.
Staying on guns, Kimmel asked if Biden could pass an executive order banning assault weapons, noting that “Trump passed those out like Halloween candy.” It’s a good idea, one that a more bullish president would have done a week ago. But Biden just respects the laws of this land too darn much.
“I also get asked, ‘Look the Republicans don’t play it square, why do you play it square?'” Biden said. “Well guess what, if we do the same thing they do, our democracy would literally be in jeopardy and that is not a joke.” Mr. President, sir, I hate to tell you this, but our democracy is already in jeopardy and you’re being a pussy.
Elsewhere in the interview, Kimmel asked the president why he’s so optimistic about the country’s future. You actually will never guess what he said.
“You turn on the TV, look at the ads. When was the last time you saw biracial couples on TV,” he said. The phrasing of this is kind of confusing, but what he means is that we are on the right path because a biracial family can be used to sell Cheerios. I love progress.
Over the course of the 23-minute interview, Kimmel proved once again that he is the only good Jimmy in late night, and Biden proved that he can sort of string a sentence together. A huge win for both parties, and a loss to anyone who tuned in hoping that the president would take a firm stance on literally anything. I guess it’s also a win for Jack Johnson, who was the musical guest for the episode, providing the perfect low-fi soundtrack for the evening’s headliner doing the soft-rock equivalent of leadership.