This is the second emergency session of the Kyrsten Sinema Outfit Review in a week, and this time, it’s us (people who dress normal and believe in health insurance) against the combined forces of the Mormon angel Moroni, Big Pharma bisexuals, and the Queen of England. We’re gonna need our best guys on this one, but unfortunately, you got me.
Hold on to your stupid wig in preparation of what I’m about to say: The gruesome twosome of Sen. Mitt Romney and Sen. Kyrsten Sinema did a couples costume. And it gets worse. It’s Ted Lasso-themed. In some sort of psychosexual office power play, Romney (dressed as Ted Lasso) offers homemade biscuits to Sinema (dressed as his boss Rebecca) to win her favor.
Mitt Romney, in a sweater, button-up, and slim-fit khakis, has never been dressed in anything quite so casual since the show-stopping sleeveless Under Armour number he rocked for a charity boxing match in 2015. He dons a fake mustache and a whistle, which he is ready to blow the second anyone around him gets anywhere near his temple garments.
In a stunningly bold interpretation of the Rebecca character, Sinema wears her signature red frames and a fuchsia pink v-necked rayon-blend dress with bell sleeves. Unlike her partner in crime, she is considerably more dressed up than she’s ever been. This is the woman who, two days ago, presided over the Senate in a cropped denim vest. But Halloween — unlike her job as an elected official — is something she takes very seriously.
The official Ted Lasso Twitter account has yet to release a statement about the costume, its pinned tweet still reading “I believe in believe.” This is also Sinema’s official stance on whether sick people should be allowed to live.