Marion Barry was mayor of Washington D.C. He's currently a council member in the District. In between, he did a stretch in a federal pen for smoking crack on camera. Now, in his new memoir, he can finally tell you about smacking a woman "upside the head" and what cocaine does to his dick.

In "Mayor for Life: The Incredible Story of Marion Barry, Jr.," Barry—who, again, is one of 13 sitting legislators who govern all of the 650,000 residents of the District of Columbia—clarifies that no, he did not get a blowjob in the waiting room of a Virginia jail, and no, he was never a drug addict. But yes, he did crack, and powder, a lot, and he beat women sometimes, because what are you gonna do?

Via the Washington Post:

In one high-profile revelation, Barry said his ability to win reelection to the mayoralty in 1994 caught the attention of President Bill Clinton, who "wanted to talk to me about how to handle embarrassing personal situations as a public official" shortly after the Monica Lewinsky scandal broke.

"I said, 'The first thing you gotta do is stop digging the hole that put you there in the first place,' " Barry writes, describing an undated encounter after a political event at an unnamed local hospital.

Few holes were ever dug as deep as Barry's conviction for puffing the rock in 1990 in a D.C. hotel with on-again, off-again paramour Rasheeda Moore—an encounter caught on FBI video. The Post poo-poos Barry's account of the bust as "peppered with claims that are questionable or demonstrably untrue." Because, you know, he comes off looking so good in it:

Barry did go up, after, he writes, Moore told him that she had ordered some soup from room service. In Room 727, he writes, "everything was set up just right to get me to drop my guard" — including cognac, ice and, most of all, Moore herself.

The crack was only a "means to an end," he writes. "I had no interest in the drugs, but I figured Rasheeda would have some good sex with me if I agreed to do it with her."

It wasn't always fun and games with his girlfriend, though:

Barry describes having to "smack Rasheeda upside the head . . . to get her off of me," confirming earlier accounts — including in "Dream City," the 1994 book about his rise and fall that Barry decries in his memoir — that he had struck Moore.

But what we're really here to talk about is cocaine and the thrice-married mayor's wang:

Less subject to question is Barry's account of his first use of cocaine, with an unnamed woman earlier in the decade. He said he decided to partake after the woman came on to him in sexually explicit terms. "I was curious," Barry writes. "If cocaine made this woman feel this hot, I wondered how it would make me feel."

He describes fumbling with the drug, blowing his first hit off of a business card before snorting it properly: It "felt like I had ejaculated. The cocaine was a powerful stimulant that went straight to my penis. I could see what this young woman was talking about.

"What happened next?" Barry writes. "I had sex with her."

That's Marion Barry, council member for the 8th Ward, District of Columbia. Cocaine-free since 2005 and racial controversy-free since, oh, December 2012.