Buttery crusader Paula Deen was just foolin' when she said she would cut the copious slabs of butter out of her cooking. This was a bait and switch because museum subject Paula Deen has a whole brand of butter.

Here are the five delicious varieties of the Paula Deen brand butter, now for sale at Walmart:

  • Sweet Citrus Zest
  • Lemon Dill
  • European Style with SEA SALT
  • Garden Herb
  • Southern Grillin'

If you subtract the butter lard from these tubs of butter lard, this is actually a wonderfully healthy list of garnishes and flavors. Once Paula Deen said that she would attempt to proselytize healthy food, but she didn't really—she was just scoping the garlic, dill, and lemon as candidates for butter additives.