Was semen really found in Starbucks drinks nationwide? Is the FDA looking into this? No. God no. But Harlem pastor James David Manning thinks so, and he's very concerned.

Manning, who also believes that Starbucks was where the sodomites started Ebola and that Putin will out Obama as a "homo" next week, recently read a headline on Inquisitr about the great Starbucks Semen Scare of '14. He didn't read the rest of the story, though: It explained that the rumors of double-tall jizz lattes were fabricated by Huzlers, which falls somewhere below The Currant in the hierarchy of shitty, sub-Onion "parody" news sites.

But Pastor Manning, having been thoroughly Huzled, made a video explaining how he believes this theoretical semen is making its way into Starbucks drinks: The company is putting it there to make the coffee taste better. And it's sodomite semen, by the way. That's the most delicious kind!

Here's Manning:

Starbucks is a place where these types frequent and a lot of body fluids are exchanged there. But the thing that I was not aware of is that there has been information that has been released… what Starbucks was doing, is they were taking specimens of male semen, and they were putting it in the blends of their lattes. Now, this is the absolute truth.


My suspicion is that they're getting their semen from sodomites. Semen flavors up the coffee, and makes you thinks you're having a good time.

Gay rights activists picketed Manning's ATLAH church last week after he blamed gays for bringing Ebola to New York City. They were handing out free Starbucks, which I'm going to assume he didn't take.

[h/t Daily Dot]