One Time a Big Mac Tried to Kill Jennifer Aniston
Lord knows everyone's had some troublesome times in their lives. Maybe you didn't even realize you were pregnant until cramps started up again, the hollow, throbbing ache that left you so doubled over it was all you could do to crawl on your hands and knees to the cool tiles of the bathroom floor and rest your forehead against the porcelain lip of the tub, and that's when you noticed your thighs were wet. Maybe you wandered much further from the campsite than you intended, searching for a better vantage point to watch that thunderstorm roll across the basin, and as soon as you saw the meticulously tended fire and the horrible hunk of charred meat in it, the half-full water bottle you'd just passed made sense and you realized the coppery smell carried on the wind wasn't "ozone" but blood. One time Jennifer Aniston ate a Big Mac.
Here's how Jennifer Aniston described The Day She Ate a Big Mac in an interview for The Cut. (The question was, "Have you ever been in a situation where you had no other choice but to grab some fast food?" which for normal people is like asking "Have you ever been in a situation where it was nighttime?" but for Jennifer Aniston is like asking "Have you ever been in a situation where you had to take a life?")
"I'll never forget when Justin and I were on a road trip and we were so hungry. The only thing around was McDonald's. I think I ordered a Big Mac. Wow, my body did not react well to that! It was like putting gasoline in a purified system. I am always trying to eat organic and natural foods, so that just made my stomach turn and made me feel terrible. And I think what you put in your body, as well as stress, is reflected in the quality of your skin."
I would have thought that if you'd put gasoline in a purified system, the gasoline would simply run right through it, easy breezy beautiful, because the system was so purified and efficient. (I assume the system in question is some sort of Rube Goldberg machine design to transport liquids from Point A to Point B). According to Jennifer Aniston, though, putting gasoline in a purified system causes that system to poop itself, nearly to death.
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