Sure, you could talk up their soft, aerodynamic design. Or their strength in the face of even the most violent of sneezes. But we all know what those white Kleenex-brand facial tissues are really being used for.

Well, this struggling mother does, anyway:

Good Christian mothers of Good Christian boys everywhere can no doubt relate, but this masterful review was actually penned by children's author James O. Thach, a Top 1000 Reviewer who has developed an amazing habit of writing satirical Amazon reviews that are often more helpful than their non-satirical counterparts.

Do yourself a favor and spend the day reading the rest.

[H/T: Reddit]