Illustration: Angelica Alzona/Gawker

It’s the classic multi-millionaire’s dilemma: You’ve found the perfect South-of-the-Highway Hamptons home—but what do you name the shell company you’re buying it through?

Sure, you could name it after the street address of the home, as is the case for the vast majority of shell companies that own property in the Hamptons; that’s fine, as far as your standard tax vehicle goes. The $35 million Southampton house on Meadow Lane used in the Showtime show Billions, for example, is technically owned by a Meadow Lane LLC, though investor Michael Loeb resides there with his family.

But there are also thousands of Hamptons residents who have opted to select more meaningful names for their fake companies: From Quogue to Montauk, billions of dollars in homes appear to be owned by inside jokes.

There’s the Butler’s Residence LLC, which owns an East Hampton home assessed at a mere $609,375. On the other end of the island, My Wife Really Likes It, LLC is the proud (and presumably happily married) owner of a $24 million, 20,000 square foot Wainscott home with a pool, clay tennis court, and five acres of green lawn. There’s a home owned by Vandelay Import Export—a Seinfeld fan, presumably—another owned by the Settlement Court LLC, giving an indication of where the down payment came from.

My personal favorite: Meadowcore, LLC, the owner of a $27,369,900 home in the village of Southampton, and also my private nickname for any style of dress that includes Tods loafers.

Some Hamptons owners take the fancy route. Jimmy Fallon’s Sagaponack home is registered to the Windemere Trust, an LLC that shares its offices with Kevin Spacey’s foundation—who, perhaps by coincidence or perhaps by introduction from a shared attorney, is a frequent Late Show guest. Steven Spielberg’s Georgica Pond home was registered to County Wexford, LLC before he sold it for somewhere in the ballpark of $20 million in 2014.

Others like to acknowledge right off the bat that yes, they are using their multimillion-dollar homes for pleasure. Down the road from Fallon’s house, another Sagaponack home, currently assessed at $16,088,200, is owned by “Camp Hedges, LLC”—a company registered to the Park Avenue apartment of former Blackstone CEO Gary Sumers. One home in nearby East Hampton is registered to a company named after a Phish song: Weekapaug Groove LLC. Another is in apparent reference to a Bob Segar classic: Turn the Page, LLC.

And then, believe it or not, there are those who don’t even bother with an LLC: David Koch, Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein, and Jerry Seinfeld among them. Brave.

The Generically Posh

Beautiful Joy, LLC

Starkissed, LLC

Oceanbaby, LLC

Real Estate, LLC

Professors Group, LLC

Kids, LLC

Last House, LLC

BO Family Holdings, LLC

Quelle Vie, LLC

Beautiful Horse, LLC

Waterview, LLC

Rainwater, LLC

Wellwater, LLC

Baywater, LLC

Seawater, LLC

Societe Du Vin, LLC

Cashmina, LLC

Moonbeam House, LLC

Sunbeam House, LLC

Friends Properties, LLC

No Name Road, LLC

Anonymous (But Rich)

Hampton Beach House, LLC

Center Of The Hamptons, LLC

Celebrity Holdings, LLC

Hamptons Residence, LLC

Hampton Cowboys, LLC

This Little Farm, LLC

Sagaponack Potato Farm, LLC

Big Woot, LLC

Beach House Associates, LLC

Southampton Follies, LLC

Center of the Hamptons, LLC

Inside Jokes

Big Johnny, LLC

Headin’ East Bub, LLC

Love Shack, LLC

Seven Dreams, LLC

Bungi Wungi, LLC

I.C. Sundae, LLC

Intellops New York, LLC

Fool Moon, LLC

Camp Jerome, LLC

Dream On, LLC

Euge Properties, LLC

Mooning Over Broadway, LLC

Hunting We Will Go, LLC

Twice the Price, LLC

Stay The Course, LLC

We’ll Miss Dougie, LLC

How About Here, LLC

Wainscott Wombles, LLC

South of the Border, LLC

Yabba Dabba, LLC

Two Yags, LLC

El Squid Roe, LLC

Queen Myway, LLC

WhatAreYouDoing, LLC

Cryptomeria, LLC

Beach Baby 798, LLC

Far and Free, LLC

Feversham, LLC

Suggestion Box, LLC

No Hotel Investors, LLC

Jonez’N For The Beach, LLC

Lance a Lot, LLC

23 Bittersweet Lane, LLC

Rai(NY) Inc.

Out Here, LLC

Pop Culture

Furby Holdings, LLC

Eraserhead, LLC

24 Penny Lane LLC

Out of Egypt, LLC

Turn the Page, LLC

Xanadu II, LLC

Graceland I, LLC

Sherlocks Manor House, LLC

Jezebel 21, LLC

Graceland I, LLC

Fifty Shades of Construction, LLC

Strawberry Fields West, LLC

Animal Lovers

The Moo Group, LLC

7 Fish, LLC

Big Moose Ventures, LLC

Moo Moo, LLC

Woof Woof Ventures, LLC

Dog Beach, Inc

Clam Clan Corp.

Puppy Mongo, LLC

Clam Hole Inc.

James Moo Cow, LLC

Galloping Cow, LLC

The Lonesome Goose, LLC


Lucky Red, LLC

Big Climbing Tree, LLC

Red Lad, LLC

Item No, LLC

Cinnamon, LLC

Prop. One, LLC

New Tick Tock, LLC

Tick Tock II, LLC

Tick Tock III, LLC

Scrumpyhw, LLC


Superfoot, LLC

Goals and Benefits, Inc.

Mjmjm Westhamptobeach LLC

Fiddledeedee Corp.

Nanabaloo, LLC

Feversham, LLC



69 Main Street, LLC

69 Middle Lane, LLC

69 MH, LLC

If 6 Were 9 Realty, LLC

69 Wickatuck Drive, LLC

69 Wild Goose Lane, LLC

69 Job’s Lane, LLC

Southcom 69, LLC

69 Foster Avenue, LLC

69 Rogers, LLC