In Belfast the other day, a tween boy burst into tears after achieving the dream of his young life: Going onstage with Nicki Minaj. Nicki, who is a benevolent goddess to her Barbz and is consistently awkward and hilarious around children, clutched the crying boy to her ample bosom and lo, he was healed.
Clearly, this was 12-year-old Donny's plan all along. Check out that sassy eyebrow waggle—he knew exactly what he was doing.
Fishes and loaves for all the Barbz and Kenz! Transmuting water into Moscato!
And now for the second phase of Donny's master plan: Owning the stage for the entire next song.
You might be peaking a little too early here, Donny. I want to say it gets better, but it's pretty much all downhill from this point on.