Newt Gingrich is puzzled by a new device he owns — the video-playing cellular telephone.

Yesterday, Gingrich released the video above, titled "We're Really Puzzled." In it, Newt is puzzled as to what to call his cellular telephone, which no longer just makes calls.

"But think about it, if it's taking pictures, it's not a cell phone," Newt reasons. "If it has a McDonald's APP that tells you where the closest McDonald's is based on your GPS location, that's not a cell phone."

It most definitely is not.

"This device is something new and different," Newt continues. "I've been calling it a hand-held computer."

Or, Smartphone?

"Now we've been here before. When we first invented the automobile, we called it the horseless carriage."

Smartphone, Newt. Smartphone.

"I want your help in figuring out what to call this."


"What would you call this, so that we can explain it to people."

Damnit, Newt.