A new study suggests that Machu Picchu, like aging Hollywood stars forced to hide their true dates of birth due to a society obsessed with glowing youth and taut skin, is older than everyone thinks it is.
The Inca citadel was long believed to be built around 1450, thanks to historical documents left by the Spanish conquistadors who invaded the area. But, according to research spearheaded by Yale University anthropology professor Richard Burger, a form of radiocarbon dating called accelerator mass spectrometry indicates that Machu Picchu actually dates back to 1420. This would mean that the royal/religious site is approximately 30 years older than whatever random number it keeps pulling out of its ass whenever someone asks about its age.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Machu Picchu said testily in response to the claims laid forth in the study, which was published in the journal Antiquity. The ruins could not be reached for further comment, citing an urgent need to get back to planning their tenth 571st birthday in a row.