As an animal, to be internet-famous must already be a kind of hell. Getting trotted out to meet-and-greets, being touched by strangers, having to model sponsor-given products while your human prison guard tells the world, in your voice, that you love the thing "meowy much." It is only natural, then, that on Sunday, April 24, internet-famous cat Jinx (736,000 followers on TikTok; 413,000 on Instagram) became the first feline mayor of Hell.
Not the Devil’s hell, of course; that one is governed by Christopher Hitchens. This is for Michigan’s Hell. (Hell, Michigan.)
“CONTACT US BELOW TO MAKE SURE YOUR REQUESTED DAY/HOUR IS AVAILABLE,” says the website of Hell, Michigan, a town with a population of about 72. As long as one’s requested day/hour is available, the town allows anyone to become mayor for a day ($100) or an hour ($25). “You can elect yourself, or someone else as this makes a great gift for those who have everything!,” says Hell. And indeed, on the spectrum of “naming a star after someone” to “naming a roach after someone,” this gift would certainly be, you know, also like that.
Jinx’s caretaker, Mia, found her in 2018, abandoned as a three-week-old in a field behind Mia’s backyard. As Jinx grew, Mia noticed her eyes and feet were becoming abnormally large. The physical abnormalities, of course, made her perfect (“perfect”) (“purrfect”) for online stardom. (She reportedly remains healthy despite them.)
“isn't there some town that made a dog the mayor,” Mia tweeted earlier this month, “can we make jinx mayor or something somewhere.” If fact we could. Jinx was sworn in on Sunday, and the event was live streamed over Twitch. At this point, she has already been sworn out. But for 24 hours a cat people know from online was a mayor of one of those joke towns where a dog gets to be the mayor. And, if you’re very lucky, maybe you will be next. (Your boyfriend is reading this right now and he’s going to get it for you for your next birthday.) (It will be disappointing but you’ll have to put on a happy face. At least you know his donation is going to a good cause [which is the town of Hell, Michigan (unclear if this is actually a good cause)]).