Since when is it such a damn crime to use a fake name to cozy up to reporters at your daughter-in-law’s federal trial for fraud? That’s the question on the mind of Bill Evans, the father of disgraced Silicon Valley CEO Elizabeth Holmes’s husband, Billy Evans.
According to NPR, Evans spent two days during jury selection hanging around court, calling himself “Hanson” and telling reporters that he was just a guy who fixes up old cars for a living. You know, your average Theranos-obsessed Joe Schmo.
"No journalist has ever told the real story about her," he said to reporters about Holmes, who is currently on trial for fraud and faces up to 20 years in prison if convicted.
How “Hanson” would know the true story is unclear, because when asked if he knew Holmes personally he said, "Do I know her? Does anyone know her? What does it even mean to know someone these days?" Profound.
Evans – who is actually a wealthy hotelier in San Diego who owns a private garage and “museum space” for priceless vintage automobiles, as seen in the photo above – was unmasked when opening arguments began. Gone was his puffer jacket, baseball cap, and the Rice Krispie Treat he ate in the back of the courtroom (NPR made sure to note that he wriggled the dessert out of its casing very loudly). He joined Holmes wearing a suit and tie as she entered the courthouse surrounded by family. The jig was up.
When asked about his elaborate ruse, Evans said, “People have nicknames and you can be free to use them,” before hanging up on the reporter.
Will we see Hanson more as the Holmes trial continues on? Or maybe as a contestant on an upcoming season of RuPaul’s Drag Race? The looks aren’t really there yet, but with enough charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent, any girl can make it to the top.