New Math Will Make All of Our Schoolchildren Gay, Says Idiot
It's the Common Core, you see, it's got the gay-making all built into it. Do an arithmetic problem all new and queer-like, and you go queer. This simple Florida lawmaker can see that. Why can't you? Are you gay or something?
There are a lot of valid arguments to be had about Common Core, the federal-state partnership to create national basic standards for kids' education. Arguments like: How socialist are the assigned readings? How Nazi is it? How much of it damns our children to hell?
Another valid argument in that vein is: Just how gay or lesbian do you want your child? Because Common Core, you see, is gay and lesbian. That's according to Rep. Charles Van Zant in this video obtained by ThinkProgress:
This ominous warning came at an anti-Common Core event in March courtesy of Florida State Rep. Charles Van Zant (R). Speaking at the "Operation Education Conference" in Orlando, Van Zant warned that officials implementing Common Core in Florida are "promoting as hard as they can any youth that is interested in the LGBT agenda."
Their aim, Van Zant warned, was to "attract every one of your children to become as homosexual as they possibly can." He then apologized to the crowd for having to be the bearer of bad news. "I really hate to bring you that news," the Florida Republican said, "but you need to know."
Reluctant as he was to go on, he went on:
VAN ZANT: These people, that will now receive $220 million from the state of Florida unless this is stopped, will promote double-mindedness in state education and attract every one of your children to become as homosexual as they possibly can. I'm sorry to report that to you.
I know it sounds crazy, but it's not. This is the same state representative who derided critics of the oil and gas industry by explaining that the supply is endless, because God:
"Some people would like to think that (the world's petroleum supply is limited). Estimates might show that. But that doesn't mean that at all. We happen to worship a god who made it all out of nothing anyway. And if we ran out, I certainly believe he could make some more."
Why would a man like that ever steer you wrong on educational policy?