Barack Obama may have had to make some difficult decisions as president, but surely none of those compare to that with which his daughter Malia, a high school senior, is now confronted: to which elite universities should she submit a college application?

The eldest First Kid is not wanting for choice. According to the New York Times, Malia has toured Harvard, Princeton, Columbia, and Brown—covering half the Ivy League—and non-Ivies Stanford, UC-Berkeley, New York University, Barnard, and Wesleyan. Also: Tufts.

But! Which power elite tour guides get the privilege (lol) of walking backwards in front of the president’s daughter and trying not to trip? There’s a question. Not to blow up anybody’s spot, of course, but rather in the interest of documenting the mechanisms of social reproduction, here are a few:

At Columbia, the president’s alma mater, Malia was shown around by Zila Reyes Acosta-Grimes, a third-year law school student serving on the university senate whose father is a prominent New York jurist.


At Yale, the college’s head student tour guide, Jeremy Hutton—once a competitor in the Mr. Yale beauty pageant—showed off the Gothic campus.

Very cool.

At Harvard, Malia toured the Yard with Taylor Nides, a fellow senior from Sidwell and the daughter of Thomas R. Nides, a former deputy secretary of state under Mrs. Clinton, and Virginia Moseley, the deputy Washington bureau chief at CNN.

Malia and Taylor followed their tour with a lunch off campus with Olivia Moseley, a Harvard senior who is the niece of Ms. Moseley and Mr. Nides.

Haha, right—as one does. Anyway! Keep those grades up, Malia.

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