After opening his mouth and expelling a noxious cloud of racist words about heroin dealers named “D Money” who are constantly knocking up Maine’s white women, Gov. Paul LePage today explained he only said those things because of his “slow” brain. Sure!

“They come up here, they sell their heroin, then they go back home,” LePage said yesterday at a town hall. “Incidentally, half the time they impregnate a young, white girl before they leave. Which is a real sad thing, because then we have another issue that we’ve got to deal with down the road.”

In his requisite apology today, LePage blamed his remarks about “these types of guys, who come from Connecticut and New York,” on his tired, racist brain. (Case in point—his mention of a dealer named “D Money” was probably in reference to this guy, whose name was actually Smooth.)

“I spent an hour and 15 minutes talking to the people in Richmond the other night about some of the problems in Maine,” LePage said Friday. “In that whole time, many of you were there, that whole time, I made one slip-up, I made one word of slip-up. I may have made many slip-ups. I was going impromptu and my brain didn’t catch up to my mouth.”

He, improbably, continued:

“Instead of saying ‘Maine women’ I said ‘white women’ and I’m not going to apologize to the Maine women for that. Because if you go to Maine, you’ll see that we’re essentially 95% white.”

He meant to say “Maine women” and not “white women”—it’s not his fault they mean the same thing.

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