This crazy-ass cellphone video shows a man stalking an intersection in Oakland with a machete before being first backed into by a red sedan and then smacked hard by a white sedan. The man responds to being deliberately backed into by chopping the hell out of the side of the red car. The footage is certainly troubling.

Miraculously, the man appears to emerge more-or-less upright and intact and continues to stalk around before police arrive. Another minor miracle: he surrendered peacefully and the patrol officers appeared to never even draw their weapons.

(WARNING: You will be subjected to some very loud loogie noises in this video(via LIVELEAK).)

SFGate reports witnesses told police the man had been throwing bottles and attempting to shatter car windows with his machete. He has been treated for minor injuries and placed in psychiatric detention.

Oakland Crime Stoppers are offering up to $5,000 for information that leads to arrests of the hit-and-run drivers. Don’t run people over with your car!