PHILADELPHIA — As the prophets foretold, a generation born under the first Clinton presidency would grow to know many misfortunes: A recession, lots of Dick Cheney airtime during its formative years, and “Gilmore Girls.” This generation, the fates dictated, would rise up in pained chorus against that misfortune to be super whiny about the idea of a second Clinton presidency. When it finally came time for a woman in office, those prophets sang from the heavens that, the women of this Cursed Generation would claim they “do not even see gender.”

Liveblog, poets! Of Bill Clinton, who speaks tonight at the DNC, and who bound us to our fate back in 1992. Liveblog! Of the pain our nation has endured since then! Liveblog your song so that the curse of a generation may be lifted!