Liberty University’s president this week raised some secular eyebrows when he urged his Christian students to start carrying guns. Now there’s a reasonable explanation: haters “lacking knowledge about the true character of God.”

Liberty is a well-funded Christian school, and its president, Jerry Falwell Jr., has a reputation for being somewhat less loony than his televangelist father, which made his gun remarks all the more newsworthy. (I guess? To me, you Christians are all more or less crazy. All of you. You believe ancient primitive myths are real. They’re not real! It’s very disconcerting.) What Falwell said to the entire student body while urging them to get licensed and carry guns on campus was, “I always thought that if more good people had concealed-carry permits, then we could end those Muslims before they walk in and kill.”

If you are the homosexual secular liberal type, you may have two issues with his remarks. First, the fact that a university president is urging more of his students to carry guns on campus, which is flat-out fucking crazy; and second, that a university president urged his students to carry guns on campus so that they may be prepared to “end those Muslims.” Liberty University does not agree that the first object is valid, because they are, in fact, flat-out crazy, but they have issued a statement in regards to the second objection clarifying that Falwell was only talking about the terrorist Negroes, like Nat Turner, who try to kill innocent whites, and not about the many good Negroes.

Excuse me—I mixed up my notes. Forgive me. Liberty clarified in its statement that Falwell was only talking about “the Muslim terrorists who attacked innocents in San Bernardino, California, and Paris, France, and not about “the many good and honorable Muslims who do not come into public spaces armed to kill innocents.”

Even spicier, Liberty published a sort of op-ed by professor Daniel Howell in which he does his level best to rebuke those who have accused Liberty of being flat-out crazy by offering up a justification that is flat-out crazier:

Unbelievers and others lacking knowledge about the true character of God sometimes refer to Christ’s moniker as the Prince of Peace to conclude Christianity must be a wimpy, defenseless teaching. Of course, this is one of many titles for Jesus, another being the Lion of Judah. While Jesus was exceptionally mild and meek at his first coming, we are assured by Scripture that he will not be so at his second coming. He is described in Revelation 19 as the King of kings who leads the armies of heaven on a white horse and utterly destroys his enemies with the word of his mouth (visualized there as a sword).

Thank you, Professor Howell, for offering up your professional opinion that Jesus will return atop a white horse, waving a sword and leading armies of angels. You should be institutionalized, sir. Which I guess you are, at Liberty University. Which wouldn’t bother me so much if you all weren’t talking about guns so much.


[Via Inside Higher Ed; Photo via AP]