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There are certain things Joe Scarborough—a man no one is interested in voting for for anything besides leaving the island—won’t tolerate. Allowing Megyn Kelly to take over his beloved Fox News network is one of them, and trust the man: He will literally—LITERALLY—self-immolate before allowing her to set the agenda.

Scarborough, whose talents include talking louder than Mika Brzezinski, promised viewers this morning on MSNBC that the best way to see him die a slow and painful death would be to put him in Donald Trump’s shoes.

Scarborough’s ire seemed aimed in particular at the statement the network released last night after Trump pulled out of the debate:

We learned from a secret back channel that the Ayatollah and Putin both intend to treat Donald Trump unfairly when they meet with him if he becomes president. A nefarious source tells us that Trump has his own secret plan to replace the Cabinet with his Twitter followers to see if he should even go to those meetings.

“I would literally go to the center of Sixth Avenue and set myself on fire before I stood on a debate stage with any news organization that did that,” Scarborough promised, blithely skimming over the fact that, literally, no one cares. “I would tell them to go to hell a lot faster than Donald Trump. I’m not talking about Fox, I have a ton of friends at Fox, I love Fox and I know a lot of people at Fox are really twisted up at about how this has gone down and how Megyn Kelly, has somehow, with Michael Moore, taken over the network.”


Contact the author at gabrielle@gawker.com.