Today I turned 27. I was wished a happy birthday by my parents, my boyfriend, my co-workers, several dozen Facebook friends, and approximately four people on Twitter. I was also wished a happy birthday by Nelnet, a student loan firm contracted by the federal government, to which I currently owe $19,008.13.

Here is the very cheerful note I received in my inbox today from Nelnet, which, CEO Jeff Noordhoek told shareholders at a meeting today, is sitting on a “huge cash position that is growing”:

The year ahead will be a very wonderful one for Nelnet because they will extract thousands of dollars from me. If I were to have the worst year ever—a tragic perishing—Nelnet would still have a wonderful year because my family would be on the hook for the money I owe them. Wishing me a wonderful year ahead is easy for Nelnet, because there is no scenario in which our personal relationship does not result in a wonderful year for them.

But, personally, my year will be worse because I have to pay Nelnet thousands of dollars. This is not Nelnet’s fault, of course, and in the grand scheme of student loans my fate is far better than many others. But does Nelnet need to throw themselves in my face on my birthday to remind me that I owe them thousands upon thousands of dollars? They don’t! My birthday would have been slightly better had I not had to think about Nelnet or my student loans at all.

I have no desire to cultivate a relationship with my student loan creditors. The student loan creditors surely know this, and yet. The student loan creditors will surely not stop sending shitty, cloying emails such as this one, so perhaps a law should be enacted against them.

Very little has been done by the federal government to alleviate the financial pressure of student loans, so at least let us have peace of mind on our birthdays.