The presidential campaign of timid celebrity child Jeb Bush has released an official physician’s letter stating that Jeb is in “excellent” physical condition. Excellent, Jebediah? Big talker.

The letter, from Jeb’s NOT unbiased physician who is PAID by Jeb Bush, says that the bespectacled nerd is “a healthy and vigorous 62-year-old man” in “excellent physical and mental condition” who has been “has been exercising regularly.” It further brags that “The exercise time on the treadmill was greater than 12 minutes as Mr. Bush achieved 13.7 METS, indicating a capacity to complete high intensity physical activity.”

First of all get over yourself.

Second of all big deal. So you did 12 minutes on a treadmill. I see old guys at the gym every day doing way more minutes than that on a treadmill and I don’t see them putting out a nationwide press release about it.

Third of all treadmills suck. Nothing to brag about “Jeb” (or whatever your real name is).

A bold claim—you’re in “excellent” condition. Not just good—excellent. A brash thing to say. Can you back it up? How many burpees can you do? How many pullups can you do—Jeb? Can you even do one pullup—Mister Excellent Shape? Or would you just hang on the bar struggling like a big old metaphor for your campaign? Can you even do Obama’s weak ass workout without stopping in the middle of the lunges, gasping for breath, holding up your hand, begging for a “breather?” I don’t see anything in your well financed press release about that, Jeb.

Can you even do the ISIS workout? I doubt it. Not ready to fight ISIS at all.

Even guys who are in excellent shape would sound like jerks standing up and announcing to all the newspapers: “Hey—I want you to know I’m in excellent shape. Have you heard about my treadmill times?” Meanwhile we have this guy over here, Jebbie, this rich boy, Mr. Silver Spoon, shouting out to the world at the top of his lungs about what excellent shape he’s in, and I’ve never even seen him do a single overhead squat. Have you? Hey, Mister Big on the campaign trail—you listening? Excellent shape compared to who?

Gym brag guys should not be in charge of anything.

[Photo: AP]