Indonesia—having passed on half-measures like shadow-triggered spear-walls and dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees—has come up with an outside-the-box idea for guarding its death row drug convicts: crocodiles. A body of water teeming with crocodiles.
“We will place as many crocodiles as we can there. I will search for the most ferocious type of crocodile,” he was quoted as saying by local news website Tempo.
Indonesia’s drug traffickers face death by firing squad if convicted. Even locked away and facing a brutal death, though, they reportedly still recruit other inmates into drug gangs, and apparently have either the clout or resources to sway guards into helping them escape. This is where the vicious man-eating crocodiles come in:
“You can’t bribe crocodiles. You can’t convince them to let inmates escape,” he said.
This is true. One cannot bribe crocodiles. With money. I suspect James Bond—or, really, any prisoner hell-bent on escape—would tempt the beasts with, I dunno, maybe just another prisoner or two. We are operating on the premise that the crocodiles will be hungry for man flesh, after all. Make a deal!
This is a real thing—the plan is “in the early stages,” but, seriously, there is such a plan. What in blazes.