Kevin McCarthy, who up until a few hours ago had been the clear frontrunner, has pulled out of the race to replace the retiring John Boehner as Speaker of the House. And now, Congress has descended into hell’s most tearful, mind-numbing pit of fiery chaos. [Updated]

McCarthy’s announcement was unexpected, certainly, and leaves the House majority in a bit of a bind, but Republicans in Congress might be taking the news harder than grown, ostensibly functional adults ought to:

Weeping in the cloakroom! And speaking of “unrest and confusion”:

Could anything make this situation somehow more surreal?

Some of the liberal delegates, for their part, are loving it.

Did Boehner, who has already announced that he will remain speaker until his replacement is decided on, at some point cross Ikto’mi the trickster spider? Will President Trump also declare himself speaker? Is Washington, D.C. going to burn by nightfall? Is that an unpeeled banana in Charles Rangel’s smoothie? We’ll continue updating as we find out.

Update 2:58 p.m.:

A novel concept from President Trump!

Update 3:09 p.m.:

Well, at least he’s honest.

Update: 3:18 p.m.:

And here comes with the best burn of the day:

Update 3:38 p.m.:


Update 4:06 p.m.:

Now, it looks like Boehner is essentially begging Paul Ryan to take his place.

And if Ryan has even a modicum of common sense, he will continue to say no.

Update 4:58 p.m.:

Sure! All of the above. Why not.

Update 10/9 1:39 p.m.:

Paul Ryan cracks under the pressure, is late for his shift at Hollister:

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