How did two convicted murderers escape from a maximum security prison this weekend? Who is Tillie, and did she betray her husband for a big-dicked con? Will we ever find out how big the other guy’s dick is? Here’s everything we know about the killers and their flirty escape.

The Convicts

This weekend, Richard Matt, 48, (the homicidal Dirk Diggler on the right) and his prison buddy, David Sweat, 34, escaped from the Clinton Correctional Facility, a maximum security prison located in rural, upstate New York.

Matt—he of the rumored sexual prowess and apparent inability to stop doing murders—had 18 years left on a 25-year sentence for killing a 76-year-old man and dismembering the body. Matt reportedly tortured the victim, William Rickerson, for hours before breaking his neck—all because Rickerson had fired him from a job.

Nor was it an isolated incident: authorities say Matt also stabbed a man to death outside a bar in Mexico, where he hid out after the first murder.

Sweat was no saint either, it seems. He was reportedly serving life without parole for killing a Sheriff’s deputy in 2002.

The Escape

The men escaped from the prison sometime on Saturday after executing an elaborate plan involving decoys, tools and a racist note.

Authorities say it probably took the men about two days to saw through their cells and into the pipe they eventually tunneled out through.

The night of the escape, the men positioned dummies made out of sweatshirts to fool the guards, then slid into the pipes, exiting from a manhole located just outside the prison walls. Via the Daily News:

Using hacksaws, they cut the 3/8-inch-thick steel walls around air vents near the heads of their cots to form man-size openings they could slip through. They kept the vents in place to avoid detection. The paint on the walls is so irregular and chipped that it was impossible to tell they had been tampered with, the sources said.

The vents led to a labyrinth of cobweb-covered catwalks, but before the cons ventured out, they stuffed their sweatshirts with clothes to fool the guards making bed checks every two hours.

Then, carrying the tools in a guitar case one of the inmates had in his cell, Matt and Sweat shimmied six stories down pipes — from catwalk to catwalk — until they reached the ground floor.

There they identified the main steampipe and followed it through the various subterranean tunnels, figuring it would lead them to the outside.

At one point, they reached a wall and were able to pass through after knocking out a few bricks. The next wall they hit was the massive prison wall, and there was no going through that.

Holes in the stones suggest they tried to drill through it, and then came up with a brilliant Plan B.

Realizing the steampipes aren’t used in warm weather, they cut one opening into the 24-inch diameter steel pipe at the base of the wall — then cut another opening from inside the pipe on the other side of the wall.

It was not clear when Matt and Sweat began working on their escape plan, but officials said it appears to have taken a lot of labor. And to power their tools, they hot-wired the electrical junction boxes and strung extension cords...

Once they got beyond the wall, they followed the pipe through the public sewer system until they found a manhole well beyond the prison, sources said.

Though they were spotted by witnesses near the prison “shortly after midnight Friday,” no one thought anything of it (possibly because they were both wearing civilian clothing.)

“I go look at him (and) I say, ‘What the hell are you doing in my yard? Get the hell out of here,’ “ one of the residents told ABC’s “Good Morning America” of that encounter.

The two men complied, one apologizing that he’d been on the wrong street. It wasn’t until the next day that the resident, who asked not to be named, and his female friend realized who the trespassers probably were.

But something went wrong: authorities say their getaway car never showed up and the men were forced to escape on foot. Which leads us to...

...The Alleged Accomplice

Here’s where Tillie comes in. Joyce Mitchell—aka Tillie—is employed at the prison as an “industrial training supervisor,” where she apparently had direct contact with the inmates. Know who else works at the prison? Tillie’s husband, Lyle. Drama!!!

It appears our escaped convicts first met Tillie, 51, in the prison workshop, where she supervised them sewing uniforms for Metro North employees. CNN reports she knew the men “very well.”

At some point, Matt reportedly charmed Tillie, despite being the type of a man whose rap sheet suggests he might kill you at any moment, for whatever reason, just ‘cause, probably.

The married 51-year-old seamstress risked everything because “she thought there was something more between’’ her and Matt, 48, the source said.“He’s a con man,’’ the source said of Matt.

Authorities believe that the smooth-talking con, who has brooding good looks — and steel front teeth — convinced Mitchell to help the men escape.

But even a big dick and steel front teeth only get you so far, it seems. Tillie was apparently supposed to be behind the wheel of the getaway vehicle—but she chickened out. Cops say instead, she checked herself into a local hospital claiming she was suffering a panic attack or “a case of the nerves,” depending on which outlet you’re getting your news from.

Despite the airtight ER cover, Tillie still admitted to cops that she had bailed on the sexy convicts.

[Mitchell] admitted to her role in their escape according to CNN, and said she changed her mind about driving the getaway vehicle according to a source.

A source has also told CNN, that Mitchell’s cell phone was used to make several calls to people close to Matt, though they cannot be certain that she made the calls or even knew that they were being made at the time.

Still unclear, however, is whether Tillie provided the men with power tools they used to escape, or whether they obtained them from prison contractors.

Here’s what else we know about Tillie:

  • She’s an elected official
  • She’s a registered Republican
  • She lives in “a two-story gray home with a ‘Don’t Tread on Me’ Gadsden Flag”
  • She may have thrown her life away for the chance to have sex with a charming murderer

So where are the convicts and their dicks now?

Great question, Gabrielle. If you knew, that $100,000 reward would be yours and you’d be drinking rosé on a beach somewhere instead of writing about an escaped convict’s dick. But you can’t win ‘em all.

Right now, authorities think they’re somewhere around Willsboro, New York where residents have spotted veritable armies of cops combing through fields. Investigators say the men may have been spotted fleeing into a nearby wood early Monday morning.

Basically, the cops have no idea!

“They could be literally anywhere,” Maj. Charles E. Guess of the New York State Police tells CNN.

They could be in Canada. They could be in Mexico. They could be inside a box ingesting poison. Heck, they could be in the Hamptons drinking rosé on the beach, for all we know. I’ll tell ya where they’re not though—prison!

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