The Army's clearly bored contingent of public affairs soldiers in Afghanistan would like to introduce you to Bagram Batman, the star of this strangely amusing series of safety PSAs that's DOD-sponsored... and taxpayer-funded.

Yes, you paid for Bagram Batman to manhandle and occasionally pummel the crap out of naive soldiers committing combat-zone safety no-no's:

Lt. Col. Nathan Jessup would be so proud:

You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has safety hazards. And those safety hazards have to be documented by men with handheld hi-def cams. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinstein?

...You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me documenting those safety hazards. You need me documenting those safety hazards.

We kid. But hey, if it saves just one life, it's worth it.

Tell me it saves lives. SWEAR TO ME. [h/t Uproxx]