Last night, failed mail-order meat salesman Donald Trump decided that, tonight, he’d like to sleep in his own bed. Spotting an opportunity to strike, our great Lord above—the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the original mail-order meat salesman in a way, if you think about it—decided to pull some pranks. And now, Trump is fucked.

Trump, whose stock is steadily dropping, had to move today’s town hall to Monday pending any unforeseen natural disasters. And considering this is the second time travel plans have gotten in Trump’s way, that doesn’t seem at all unlikely.

Hopefully those Trump-brand sheets were worth it.

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