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He. Can't. Shut. Up. In a new interview today, we learn George Zimmerman "absolutely" thinks he's a victim, just like "our fallen soldiers"; that he doesn't defend himself against enemies he calls "dragons"; and that he's never been racist, is always armed, and is living "the most Christlike that I can."

Zimmerman—the self-appointed nightwatchman, the killer of Trayvon Martin, the alleged abuser of women, the copier of copyrighted images, and the boxer of many shadows—has said a lot of shit in his recent televised smarm offensive. (It's apparent from these interviews that he can't even see himself as charming, so it's hard to see what other offensive there is to wage here.)

But in a long sit-down interview with Fusion TV host Derrick Ashong, airing in its entirety this evening, Zimmerman turns the hypocritical batshit to 11. ("I believe that as a young black male, I too have a role to play in holding people like Zimmerman accountable, if only in the court of public opinion," Ashong says.)

Here are the video lowlights, with transcription—major WTFs are bolded:

1. The one where Zimmerman compares himself to Christ, says he never reflects on his profiteering, and claims his paintings are a part of him.

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ASHONG: What do you for work now? How do you sustain yourself?

ZIMMERMAN: Family. You know the paintings are out there. And pretty widely known.

ASHONG: …I understand you recently sold one for $100,000, or thereabouts?

ZIMMERMAN: The seller, and the price, was not disclosed. It was a private seller, private sale. But I will tell you it well exceeded my expectations. [Laughs.]

ASHONG: …Some people will argue that you're profiting off the tragic loss of another person's life, the actual killing of a kid. How would you explain it?

ZIMMERMAN: I don't. To be quite honest with you. That percentage of negativity, I don't respond, I don't pay attention to it. It doesn't affect me. I try to move on with my life and just live the most Christlike that I can. I'm 2.5 million dollars in debt, so I have to do something to earn a living and keep a roof over my head.

I do still enjoy my painting. I actually owe the Associated Press, um, my gratitude, because they stopped me from selling the second painting, and it wasn't until they put a stop to it that I realized that I didn't want to sell these paintings. It was like a piece of me. That canvas was blank. That piece of me is gone.

ASHONG: Do you think that you will ever be able to have anything resembling a normal life?

ZIMMERMAN: Um, I hate to sound jaded by what's happened, but in all sincerity I plan for the worst and hope for the best. Whatever it is, I hope that God loves me and uses me for whatever he has planned.

2. The one where Zimmerman insists he doesn't have a race problem, man.

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ASHONG: First, simple question: Are you a racist?


ASHONG: Okay. And when you look at this particular issue, do you understand why people are so animated about the racial component of the entire case?


ASHONG: No. And when you look specifically at the situation that happened, if the races involved were reversed, do you think that the outcome would have been the same?

ZIMMERMAN: Which outcome?

ASHONG: The legal outcome.

ZIMMERMAN: Um. I'm not certain. I would believe that it would be identical.

ASHONG: Do you feel that there is a racial problem or some sort of sense of existing ongoing racism within American society?

ZIMMERMAN: Um, growing up in a biracial household, we never saw color. We were raised with two girls, they were African American, both of them doctors, great girls…and they were our sisters and we never saw race.

I think that by seeing— to answer your question directly, yes I think there is a problem, because I have seen such strong opinions on both sides. I don't see it personally because I don't take offense to a lot of things, that's just how I was raised. Let it roll off your back. I can't say that I have ever experienced it, and I can certainly say that I've never acted in any way racist towards another race. Any race.

3. The one where Zimmerman is a victim, just like "all our fallen soldiers," and he has conspiracy theories but nothing to say to Trayvon Martin's parents.

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ASHONG: Do you feel like you've been a victim?

ZIMMERMAN: Absolutely.

ASHONG: Of what?

ZIMMERMAN: There's so many different aspects. I feel the people in power, like Gov. Scott, cowered to political pressure and shredded the Constitution, and spit in the face of all our fallen soldiers, and went through with a malicious prosecution, simply for political pressure.

ASHONG: So you feel you shouldn't have been prosecuted at all.

ZIMMERMAN: The Sanford Police Department investigated, conducted a full investigation, and found that there was no crime, that it was self-defense. Seminole County state attorney's office investigated and said there was no crime, that it was self-defense. It wasn't until Governor Scott called his friend [attorney general] Pam Bondi, and said 'Get somebody to prosecute him,' and they appointed Angela Corey from Duval to come to Seminole County, that I was charged.

ASHONG: But the Martin family—I know you said you don't watch the news so maybe you haven't seen some of the interviews with them—they clearly feel very differently from how you do. Have you spoken with them at all?

ZIMMERMAN: I've not spoken to the Martin-Fulton family at all. Um.

ASHONG: And if you had a chance at all to speak with them, what would you say?

ZIMMERMAN: Because of the ongoing civil rights violation investigation by the Department of Justice, I wouldn't say anything to them.

4. The one where Zimmerman gunsplains that "gun control isn't working."

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ASHONG: Let's talk a little bit about guns. That night obviously, you were armed, and you had not gone out I understand looking for anyone in particular. Why were you armed?

ZIMMERMAN: I was always armed. For a few reasons. One is I don't know if you were aware of it or not but there were a lot of breaking in the neighborhood, and I felt like it was careless to leave my gun in the house.

The second one was, things happen in a fraction of a second, and you never know… you know, I didn't know if my nephew was gonna be at my house when I get home being mauled by a dog. So, um, it was just a part of my daily routine. I took it with me everywhere except for work and school.

ASHONG: So if you were going to the supermarket, you were going to the movies, you would always carry a firearm.


ASHONG: You see that there's been a lot of controversy about these school shootings, mass killings, obviously your own case and others, where people have been shot who were either unarmed or for whatever reason, people perceive that there was an injustice committed. Do you feel that it makes our society safer if everyone were to take your stance?

ZIMMERMAN: I think that the way our forefathers had it planned with the Second Amendment is exactly the way it should be. I think that those that are entitled to carry arms should have the right to carry arms—we do have the right to carry arms—

ASHONG: Just let me interrupt you there. When you say "those who are entitled to," explain what you mean there.

ZIMMERMAN: There are obviously states that conduct mental health backgrounds and stuff like that...

ASHONG: Do you support that? And background checks?

ZIMMERMAN: Um, I haven't done enough research to support or oppose, um, but to be quite honest, I trust the government and the officials enough to hope that they're doing the right thing when it comes to that.

ASHONG: …A lot of people who support the Second Amendment support it because they don't trust the government… Do you feel that guns are making our society safer or that the easy access for many people to guns is part of the problem?

ZIMMERMAN: And again I hate speaking out of school here because I don't know the exact statistics, but I mean if you look at states that don't permit liberal gun laws, and concealed weapons carry—um, California, um, New York—I mean, if you look at the crime statistics from there, there's a reason I believe that gun control isn't working.

Ashong and his producers, incidentally, point out that California and New York violent crime rates have dropped more dramatically in recent years than those in much of the rest of the country.