A French preschool teacher who ignited a manhunt in a suburb north of Paris after he said he was stabbed in the neck by an ISIS sympathizer admitted to police today that he actually just invented the entire story.

The teacher, who has not been named, said he was attacked in his classroom by a man who shouted “This is for Daesh. It’s a warning.” “Daesh” is the colloquial Arabic phrase for ISIS, who had nothing to do with this man allegedly being stabbed in the neck with a box cutter.

French prosecutors have not yet stated how the man, who is still hospitalized, was injured or why he lied about it, but an unnamed official told the New York Times that the man appears to have stabbed himself in an attempt to get transferred into another job. I am admittedly unfamiliar with the inner workings of the French preschool system, but you have to assume there was an easier way.

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