Former viral sensation and aspiring heavy metal sensation Balloon Boy (a.k.a. Falcon Heene) has officially announced his willingness to accept the position of Justice of the Supreme Court in an email to Gawker.
In light of Justice Antonin Scalia’s passing, and considering Balloon Boy’s previous interests in the political realm, we reached out to the Balloon Boy family to see if he might be willing to accept a position on the Supreme Court if offered, to which Balloon Boy responded:
Hell yeah I would take the position of Supreme Court Justice. First thing I would do is reinstate the wig party, everybody will be metal as fuck, then I would take Barack and “Michael” Obama and impeach them.
A little over an hour later, and unprompted, Balloon Boy followed up:
My dad said it is “Whig Party” to oppose tyranny.
We’ve reached out to the White House to ask whether an imminent impeachment might be cause to reconsider a Balloon Boy nomination, as well as ask who “Michael” is. We will update if and when we hear back.