Now that school is back in session, the morning subways are overcrowded with a bunch of kids. What’s being done about this?

Rush hour runs from about 7 to 9 a.m. Even during the summer the trains are crowded then. Why? Because adults, who have real jobs, are commuting to their real jobs. Where they get paid cash money.

Can teenagers say the same? Are all of these kids shouting and yelling in the morning going to their real jobs also? Not to doubt anyone’s word, but I’m skeptical. More likely, these kids are going to school. Education is important and all that, but school is not a real job.

Hey—how much did you get paid at school today? I thought so.

All the grown ups have to be at our real jobs by 9 a.m. So can an “education specialist” please enlighten me: Why does school start in the morning so all the kids have to ride the train at the same time as all the grown ups? Maybe I’m not “educated enough” (joking—I have a world class education) but it seems to me that the people with real jobs should get priority over kids who in many cases don’t even know enough things to operate complex machinery, even if we wanted them to.

Kids don’t have anything to do all day. I do. So start school at a more civilized hour, like noon. Young people can have the trains to themselves, and they won’t impede the flow of important, necessary workers to their real jobs.

The fact that the Department of Education needs me to think of this does not bode well. Who’s running the show over there, a gang of ocelots?

[Photo: Flickr]