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Along with his usual pledges to humiliate his opponents and (once again) make America great, GOP frontrunner and tough eighth grader Donald Trump used his victory speech in New York tonight to announce something new: a Global War on Getting Messed With.
“We’re going to build our military bigger, better, stronger than ever before,” said Trump on Tuesday. “Nobody is going to mess with us—that I can tell you.”
The United States’ defense budget, it should be noted, currently constitutes more than a third of all military spending on the planet Earth. That money, it should also be noted, has strangely failed to keep our country un-messed with.