[There was a video here]

Donald Trump just ended his mercifully short victory speech, the majority of which consisted of Trumpisms we’ve already heard a million times before—except for one. Now (in addition to Muslims and walls and his smokin’ hot daughter), Donald Trump would like to talk to you about physics.

Unfortunately for MIT, Caltech, and every other physics school in the country, they’ve been teaching a lie. Because apparently, physics isn’t about matter and space and time—it’s about cold, hard election polls:

I was watching the news a little while ago, and one of the commentators said, “But Donald Trump doesn’t get over 50 percent.” ... And I have to explain to these people... They don’t understand basic physics, basic mathematics, basic—whatever you want to call it.

When I don’t get over 50, we have four people—right? We have four people. Do you understand that? So when I get 53... and that’s with four people. That’s an amazing achievement, just mathematically, when you can get over 50 percent.

So not only was this a deeply embarrassing night for Marco Rubio, but physicists everywhere are now legally obligated to set fire to their degrees in deference to Professor Trump. It’s just basic whatever you want to call it. Sad!