On Thursday, cursed Halloween mask Donald Trump swore himself to the GOP, signing a non-binding pledge that he would never, never ever run as an independent candidate should he not win the party’s nomination, even if he felt like it and changed his mind later.
“The best way for the Republicans to win is if I win the nomination and go directly against whoever they happen to put up. And for that reason, I have signed the pledge,” said the man best known for his loyalty, honesty and overall integrity. “So I will be totally pledging my allegiance to the Republican Party and for the conservative principles for which it stands.”
Of course, the bizarre pledge was only created after Trump publicly refused to make a similar promise at the first GOP debate, making the bloodless blood oath itself a kind of reversal, but Trump claimed he’s definitely 100% sure this time.
“I have no intention of changing my mind,” said Trump. “I see no circumstances under which I would tear up that pledge.”
[Image via Getty Images]