Photo: AP

Billionaire Hollywood mogul David Geffen, whose ability to use charity donations to embody the principle of selfishness is truly astounding, made—spoiler alert!!!—another gaudy, wasteful, self-aggrandizing charity donation today.

Among Geffen’s most inane and self-serving recent donations have been $100 million to help UCLA attract more prestigious faculty by building a private school for their kids named after David Geffen, and a $100 million donation to Lincoln Center on the condition that Avery Fisher Hall be renamed for David Geffen. He loves to see his own name on things and will pay any price to do so! Starving children in Africa simply cannot offer the same ability to carry the name of David Geffen.

Today, the Museum of Modern Art in New York announced that it too has gotten a $100 million donation from David Geffen for its expansion. And? “MoMA said three floors of new galleries created as part of the expansion will be named the David Geffen Wing. The fourth-floor suites of galleries in the current museum building will be named the David Geffen Galleries this spring. The naming rights for Geffen will exist in perpetuity, according to the museum.”

Charities that actually save human lives and help the poor did not report any $100 million donations from David Geffen today. (And you can be sure that he didn’t give them anonymously!)

David Geffen, you’re a real prick, no matter what the people you are giving money to tell you. You hear me? A real first-class prick.